Tamoxifen Limericks


These were originally written for the Tamoximan piece you can see here.

For most, life's a gradual slide

From youth's flood to age's low tide.

Tam makes it sudden,

Like pushing a button.

I’m alive but limp, I confide.

The T.V. hawks testosterone gel.

It makes you feel literally swell.

Your mileage may vary,

With cancer it's scary,

And could lead to an early farewell.

Alis was fond of Tom’s phallus.

His cancer came, all full of malice.

The docs did their best.

A white pill, the rest.

And now Tom can no longer see Alis.

How long do you take Tamoxifen?

For men, is it five years or ten?

A pill every day

Keeps cancer at bay,

And why would you stop? What then?

Good old ninety-three seven eighty-two,

It’s a marvel all the things you can do.

Though you wipe my drive,

You keep me alive.

So in the end, I must say, "Thank you.”

The crab, with its big red claws

That at your breast picks and gnaws,

On estrogen grows.

Without it, it slows.

Now that gives a man a pause.